by Andy Swift
Plus, King Joffrey plays target practice with an unusual partner â€” and wins.
After finally having weird cave s3x last week, Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and Ygritte climbed the next wall of their relationship on the May 5 episode ofÂ Game Of Thrones.Â Only their new â€˜wallâ€™ wasnâ€™t metaphorical. It was very much the literal Wall of Westeros, and they nearly died trying to climb over.
There was a lot of action on the other side of the Wall this week â€” beginning with Ygritte threatening to wear Jonâ€™s peeper around her neck if he ever betrays her â€” and it really helped me to understand Jon and Ygritte as a couple. Her thinly-veiled threat, his valiant rescue, that big kiss atop the Wallâ€¦ Iâ€™m starting to really root for these two.
Lady & The Scamp
Meanwhile, far north of all that nonsense, Aryaâ€™s (Maisie Williams) archery lessons were interrupted by a new face â€” well, new toÂ herÂ at least. Melisandre (Carice van Houten) and her entourage had tracked down the Brotherhood to retrieve Gendry, as she needs a sacrifice with Stannisâ€™ blood. Melly muttered something about him having a greater purpose than the rest of the Brotherhood, but honestly, she mutters a lot of things.
Before taking off, Melisandre looked into Aryaâ€™s future and saw that sheâ€™d one day get revenge on a whole mess of people. She also dropped an ominous â€œWe will meet again,â€ which gave me goosebumps. Am I the only one already excited for their reunion?
Engaged & Confused
After spending her afternoon attempting to squeeze even an ounce of heterosexuality out of Loras, Sansa (Sophie Turner) was eventually given the buzz-kill news that sheâ€™s now engaged to Tyrion (Peter Dinklage).
But hey, at least itâ€™s better than still being engaged to Joffrey (Jack Gleeson). Not only did we learn that Joffrey isÂ the one who ordered Tyrion killed at Blackwater, butÂ as we saw at the end of the episode, heâ€™s also getting a littleÂ tooÂ in touch with his dark side. In fact, Iâ€™m pretty sure that wasÂ RosÂ we saw punctured through the chest by a crossbow â€” in Joffreyâ€™s room!
Pray for Margaery, you guys.
Torture, Table Manners & No Targaryens
1. Theon got his pinky finger mangled by his captor, who once again gave him the run-around and made up a bunch of lies. This guyâ€™s the freakinâ€™ Cheshire Cat of torturers. Whatâ€™s his deal?
2. Not only did Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) wear a frilly pink dress this week, but she also helped Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) cut his food at dinner. Their relationship is becoming very mother-son and I donâ€™t like it.
3. I canâ€™t believe there was no Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) this week. This isÂ beyond.