Breakups: 9 Things You Must Never, Ever Do After

Breakups can be an extremely difficult experience. You’re hurt, you’re crying, confused, and your heart feels like it’s in a million pieces. There’s a reason why it is called heartbreak but learn to let it go. The world has something better in store for you. But while you’re waiting, here are 9 things you must never do after a breakup.

Ready to hear them? Cool, let’s go!


#1. Don’t Stalk him/her
You’re way too smart to stalk him or her physically after your breakup. Of course you are…BUT…on social media?  That’s tempting. Facebook, Twitter, BBM(blackberry messenger), instagram, his/her blog. Never! Do you really want to torture yourself with each new female friend he adds and see cute little comments from babes/guys you know were interested in him/her in the past? You don’t need to know where he or she’s going or who he or she’s going with. It hurts. Move on.

#2. Don’t Stay friends
There is no way you can remain friends with an ex if you still have feelings for him. You can eventually be friends but not immediately after a breakup. Haba! Give yourself some time. Remaining friends only gives him/her permission to treat you like crap while he/she borrows money from you, has occasional s3x with you when he can’t find anyone else, and sometimes lean on you for emotional support when he has a bad day! Accept the truth. He’s not going to change his mind and realize breaking up with you was a bad idea. He’s just going to use you until he finds someone to take your place. So please, DO NOT stay friends with him for now!

#3. Do not Isolate yourself
You’re way too fabulous and amazing to be shut-in. Do not stay cooped inside your room all day with the blinds shut. You’ll do yourself more harm than good. Get out! Go to the beach on its busiest days. (We have so many in Nigeria, especially in Lagos). Attend events, not those emotional stage plays. Take some risks! Meet with some of your crazy energetic friends at the club. Wear red lipstick and some killer stillettos and work it because you can.

#4. Don’t waste energy on revenge
Revenge is utter crap. Don’t get even. Get over it.

#5. Do not tell “your story” to everyone
Almost everyone falls victim to this. Hold back. Don’t tell everybody how you’ve been wronged. Boooooooooring! Save it. The longer you hold on to “your story” and keep soliciting sympathy, the longer it will take you to move forward…and we don’t want your friends to dump you, too. (That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to someone about it. The emphasis here is telling ‘EVERYONE’).

#6. Don’t be “on the hunt”
Don’t jump on the relationship bandwagon too soon. Contrary to the general belief, the best way to get over a guy/lady is not to date another one immediately. Take your time. Enjoy your new Freedom.

#7. Do not listen to ‘Adele – Someone like you’ on repeat
I guess that’s self-explanatory.

#8. Don’t think your Facebook page is going to convince him to come back
I have a friend who made up a boyfriend just to make her ex jealous. She changed her status, her photos, she changed her profile picture to her and a hot dude hugging tightly. But what did the ex think? When i asked him, i discovered he didn’t even notice. So, yes, in most cases, it doesn’t work.

#9.  Do not turn to alcohol
Drowning our sorrows in bottles of beer can sometimes seem pretty appealing. The chances are, you’ll get drunk and then make one or more of the other mistakes on this list.

Know someone going through a heartbreak? Please share with them. Have you gone through a heartbreak before? How did you cope? Please share with us below!

16 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Onyi May 25, 2014 at 8:39 PM - Reply

    Yea, i was once a victim… What i did was to make do away of anything that can remind me of him.. His pics, Tshirt, and even changed my sim card… It really helped me a lot..

    • Gist missy May 27, 2014 at 11:19 AM - Reply

      Great! Heartbreak is never a pleasant experience. I’m glad you were able to get over it and move on with those drastic actions 🙂

  2. Paul Graham May 26, 2014 at 9:26 PM - Reply

    Hi Michelle. I agree with all but #2 which probably depends on circumstances. Perhaps its necessary to take some time apart but if the person has qualities that you admire in a friend I don’t think that should be thrown away . Still, to each their own and whatever helps a person move on makes sense.

    • Gist missy May 27, 2014 at 11:17 AM - Reply

      What #2 means is you cannot stay friends immediately after the breakup. It does more harm than good. After your heart heals to a considerable extent, you can become friends if you both want it that way.

  3. TheGirl May 26, 2014 at 9:51 PM - Reply

    Great tips….can’t say I followed all of them. But I think the most important advice is taking time to yourself and rediscovering the things you love. Perhaps picking up a new hobby that you were otherwise too busy for! I can so relate to this post, as my (almost) entire blog was based on this.

  4. Tim May 27, 2014 at 12:25 AM - Reply

    DO NOT BE FRIENDS; you cannot. Love that you put that in their. Once you break up, you’re broken up. Maybe in a couple of years you can become friends but for now, stay away. Good advice.

    • Gist missy May 27, 2014 at 11:15 AM - Reply

      Exactly. Staying away for the meantime till your heart heals is the best. No matter how hard you try, being friends immediately after the heartbreak will have a negative effect on you 🙂

  5. jacquiegum May 27, 2014 at 2:10 PM - Reply

    You only need do any of these things just once before learning NOT to do them! The frined thing is especially important, I think. It rarely works…or never if you ask me 🙂

  6. Beth Niebuhr May 27, 2014 at 3:59 PM - Reply

    It’s tough. Move on. Get busy. Volunteer. Don’t think about him again.

  7. Sarah Pittard May 28, 2014 at 2:05 AM - Reply

    Man I should have met you a long time ago. Just glad when I was single that Facebook wasn’t around to record my every drunken error. Great advice.

  8. Meredith May 29, 2014 at 12:00 AM - Reply

    This is a great list, and I like all of them, but especially like number three! Breakups can be so hard, but I think getting out of your own head (and your house) is a step in the right direction.

  9. StephB May 29, 2014 at 4:54 PM - Reply

    Great advice Michelle! I always wonder how people feel they can move past a relationship while keeping that person in your space by remaining friends. It’s a rare situation in which this isn’t an impediment to moving on. As a matter of fact when a guy tells me that he is “friends with all of his exes” I’m immediately a little less interested.

  10. crystalzakrison May 30, 2014 at 3:12 AM - Reply

    I am married now to an awesome husband. However, I had a bad breakup a long time ago and the guy left me without telling me. I read that book hes just not that into you. lol You know like the movie. haha I would follow their advice. I also think delete him off your Facebook because you’ll be tempted to keep checking on what hes doing in his life. Great tips! =)

Leave A Response