“I want a huge showbiz affair” – See Everything Joan Rivers Requested For Her Funeral

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Its so sad to remember she’s truly gone.

On Thursday afternoon Melissa Rivers delivered the devastating news that her mother, comedian and Fashion Police host Joan Rivers, has passed away at the age of 81.

[Joan Rivers is dead!!!]

As someone known for her ability to turn almost situation into comedy, it is not at all surprising that in the past, Joan has joked about her own death and funeral, in a way that will probably make you laugh and cringe at the same time.

She wrote in her memoirs I Hate Everyone….Starting With Me that when she dies, she wants a Norma Desmond-approved, novella-inspired ultra dramatic, over-the-top, grand funeral. She wants glamour, sequins and Meryl Streep jumping from her Deer Hunter character to her A Cry In The Dark character to her Sophie’s Choice character. Joan wrote that she didn’t want a quiet, tasteful, boring funeral.

Read her wishes below:

When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action . . . . I want craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing “Mr. Lonely.” I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s.

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Well, Joan’s funeral is on Sunday and sadly Meryl Streep is not going to win her fourth Oscar for it and it won’t be scene. Her rep tells E! that her funeral will happen at Temple Emanu-El in Manhattan. It’s going to be private, invitation-only and no press is allowed. Mourners won’t see who Joan Rivers was caught dead in, because her casket will be closed. They’re basically doing the opposite of what Joan wanted!

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