Are you dating a perfectionist? Are your nerves already at the limit? We know what to do.
Read our new article from Vava Ladies about how to date a perfectionist, survive and remain happy.
Your girl spends all her time and energy on improving her actions, deeds, behavior. She constantly compares herself with others, presents herself and others with superhigh requirements, perceives other people as unnecessarily demanding and picky, very often she is unhappy with the imperfection of the world around her. Her desire for the ideal is excessive. She is constantly not satisfied with the results of her work because the result does not suit her? Congratulations, you are dating a perfectionist. Once you’ve gotten to read this advice, then her desire for the ideal has become annoying.
For you, she also invented an image of an “ideal man.” You have to be impeccable in everything, you cannot make a mistake. And if she starts taking care of you, it turns into hyper-care. Clean and tidy, food by the hour – a woman worries about every member of the family and often does everything herself because no one can cope better with her task. And this is also annoying. Irritation causes the girl’s offense: she tries to do her best and he’s so ungrateful…
To begin with, you need to discuss your feelings with her. Tell her that you dream that it would be better if she did not always succeed, but at home there would be peace. If your relationship is important to her, she will hear you and want to change her attitude to herself, and to you, and to the world. If she can change, and you can be more flexible, have patience, then your relationship will improve. And remember one rule: since you date a perfectionist, you MUST be flexible.
The second tip: understand the reasons why you chose a perfectionist. Maybe your mother has “excellent student complex,” and in your understanding, only such a woman can be the best wife. Or maybe you were not cared for in your childhood, so perfectionist for you is the ideal of the wife. And if in the first case your woman will never be able to “win” and do better than her mother, then in the second, you, in fact, do not know what to do with this “unknown” woman, how to build relationships with her. Or maybe you have a competition, you yourself are not alien to the overreaction to the ideal.
Think, maybe you will also want to understand yourself in something and change. It often happens that we do not see the whole picture. Especially when it comes to a pair of people in love with each other who have complex characters. It is possible that your actions are aimed at the same thing that the actions of your girlfriend. Only their image, methodology and degree of disguise are different.
But you should also prepare for the worst scenario. After all, it occurs very often. We want to be honest with you, so take this bitter truth as a friendly gesture. As a medicine for an emergency. If you are honestly trying to work on your shortcomings, if you are honestly trying to establish a constructive dialogue when you meet her inflated demands, but do not get any feedback – you are dealing with a hardened perfectionist and she will not be able to correct anything. Think about whether to wage a war that will end in failure. And then make a decision.